The Anti-Shrinking Potion

 

WARNING! 

WARNING!

The world is shrinking.

The world is shrinking. 

No, it’s not some upside down physics phenomenon declaring the opposite of entropy. It's not some optical illusion. It is what is happening to many of us as individuals.

 

It is the curse of selfishness.

 It is the curse found in the Garden of Eden. The enemy of our souls wants us steeped in selfishness, wrapped up in its tentacles, and suffocating on its emotional highs and lows.  And due to his influence, we have become a self-centered people.  Selfishness also breeds selfishness.  If you are around people that are just focused on themselves, you will then feel the need to “protect yourself.”

    It's a vicious cycle that, without intervention, leads to isolated, frustrated, individuals. It's a lonely place. It's a place that I have visited, too often. The world of the selfish is small, their emotions are small, their entire focus and thought process are so localized that they barely penetrate the walls of their house.  Let alone, having a beneficial impact on one’s neighborhood, city or world.  

 

            If you are familiar with Star Trek: The Next Generation, there is this episode where Dr. Beverly Crusher’s world gets smaller and smaller. The starship that once had 1,000 people on it, now has only 400. Then it gets down to 100 then 20 . . . and so on. People start disappearing from her life. Entire galaxies vanish from existence as well. Her world gets smaller and smaller until it’s only her on this spaceship with nowhere to go, because her entire universe ends up being this ship, which also is shrinking . . .

 

That is what selfishness does to us. So what’s the answer, how do you intervene in the middle of this vortex? I came up with a somewhat strange response to this; I decided to get married.

 

Why marriage? This was my second time around and I am an introvert by nature.  Now, I love people and want to help and support people, but I get my energy from being alone.  Plus, there are benefits to being single. You are the master of your own tv remote, you don’t have to have food in your refrigerator that you despise, you do not have to listen to music or tv shows that you do not like when someone else does.  Also, you are free to serve God fully.  You do not have to consider anyone else when you reach out to give money to the poor or spend time at a food bank, or go on that mission trip.  Yeah, there are definite perks to being single.  But the benefits of singleness are the very thing that create an environment of self-centered living.

 

So I made a conscious decision to pursue marriage, because I thought it would be good for me. I felt that if I remained single, I would turn into that hermit.  I would be the “crazy cat lady” living alone down the street.  I felt that I needed the “iron sharpens iron” effect on my soul. I wanted to be forced to consider other people’s opinions and needs and wants, and thus help me fight my own tendency for selfishness. I didn’t think I had a huge problem with it, I was just being “proactive.”  And love found a way, and I did end up getting married. 💕

 

Well, I found out that I was a whole lot more selfish than I thought!  This new family dynamic made me realize just how much I like things my way. And growing up in a small family, of pretty much myself and my parents, I now felt overwhelmed and lost in a much larger family.  I found myself internally clawing my way to reach air.  Initially it started as self-care, but soon morphed into what felt like self-preservation.

 

“Self-preservation,” the instinctive drive that the enemy loves to play with, builds up to the point where you become this green-eyed monster who is drooling snot and blood as you seethe at a simple fact like . . . there is no toilet paper in the bathroom . . . and you didn’t realize it until it was, well, too late!!

 

In an effort to down-play the self-centeredness of my life, I would hide those emotions, stuff them way deep down inside. This did not work either.  Instead I created my own tumor that would grow up into the cancer of bitterness, anger and depression.  I would find myself over-reacting, doing the worst thing a grandma could do, call their grandchild an “idiot.”  I am sure that there will be professional counseling sessions in my future where I have to apologize for the damage I have done for that, and other remarks.

 

            One can not force themselves to become less selfish. The more “less selfish” you try to become , the more you focus on, well, you!  And the internal spiral begins again.  So how does this work? I found myself crying out to God, “I do not want to be like this. Help me!”

 

“Peace.” 

 

Out of nowhere, that word hit me hard a couple of days ago. It entered my mind and went straight to the root of my soul. It felt like a divine thought process, one of those where the truth of it hits all at once, but the reality of how to describe it or how to live it takes time.

 

Peace,

 the peace that passes all understanding.  

Peace, 

the peace that Jesus provides as our Prince of Peace.

 Peace,

 the craving that our soul deeply longs for. 

 

The same craving that, by the way, stirs selfishness to rear its ugly head and hiss into your minds, “You need me. You have to look out for number one. No one else will do that for you.” And the internal downward spiral begins . . . 

 

But in my heart I saw how this true serenity in one's soul could pluck a person out of the swirling chaos of emotions.  Not to hide from emotions,  but to have the stability to handle them effectively. True peace expands our worlds, not diminishes them. 

 

True peace shifts our perspective.  When we “set our minds on things above,” when we “look to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith,” we are able to run the race that we are given to run.  Setting our minds on heaven, does not take us out of the race, but more firmly establishes us in that race. When we don’t have to focus on all the stuff going on around us, the yelling, the demands, the drama, we can say, “I am only going to do that which God is calling me to.” This does not avoid the needs around me, but helps me prioritize the needs. And I can have peace that God can take care of the rest.

 

True peace confronts the fears that make us do selfish things. When we fear that we are being swallowed up by the world around us, God asks us, ‘What is it really that you are afraid of?” He then declares, “Walk in my peace, take my yoke and you will find rest for your weary soul.” Not a crawl into my bed and hide from the world type of rest, that’s fear. But a yoke of a rightly-sized proportioned work that you were destined to do. Motivated by love, not fear.

 

Peace comes down to this. Do we really believe that God is good? Do we really believe that God loves us deeply? Not the “Yeah, I believe in God, so I am His child” verbiage that is merely a religious litany from our past. But the knowledge that every single moment, God’s eye is on us and His army of angels are around us, and His love and purpose is for us. Understanding that statement will give you a power and boldness you did not know you could possess. You have just tapped into the unlimited source of refreshing energy for your soul!

 As the Word says . . .

“You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You.” Isaiah 26:3

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This is going to take a life-time of learning how to incorporate this into my life. But I will start with little places. And maybe some of you out there could try it to.

The next time, the drama comes and I want to hide, I will tap into my God’s supply and stand my ground. I do not have to worry about doing the wrong thing, or being at the wrong place at the wrong time. God loves me and His peace can transform my soul. He is not yelling at me at that moment. He is not heaping tons of accusations or demands. He is asking me to simply stay still. He will guide me into what to say and what to do, and if I stay at peace I will be able to hear His still small voice envelop my spirit and direct my path.

 

I will not shrink into myself, but embrace this world with His Peace. And maybe, you can too.

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I would be interested to know if any of you get a chance to practice this and what works for you - to maintain peace in a time of turmoil.  Feel Free to share below!